I was supposed to play a cover, but I stayed up late writing a song that I like, and will probably play that at the show instead. Check out the Calendar for updated information on shows. I’m going to be at the Coal Street Pub tonight at 7 p.m. In the case that you can’t make it, tho, I’ll be filming as well.
Posted in behind the scenes, show details | Tagged random thoughts, show preview | Leave a Comment »
Here’s probably the best song I played last night. Overall the show was fun. For some reason I feel like I didn’t really connect with the audience as much as I have before, so I’m trying to figure out whether there is something I can do on my end.
Messed up on a few of the songs, but still laughed at myself.
Seeing this show made me realize how much I would love to play with others. I am determined now to add more instrumentation and take this music to the next level.
Posted in audio/visual, behind the scenes, show details | Tagged random thoughts, show review, video | Leave a Comment »
I really love creating because it helps me to discover who I am. I was afraid I would not accomplish anything, that my talents were for nought, that people believed in me for nothing. I felt like I wasn’t reaching my potential. Nothing I could say or that anyone else could say seemed to help me believe in myself. I took a walk with these feelings.
After suffering from crippling doubt over the last couple of weeks, I came to some important realizations I’d like to share.
First of all, I realized that I didn’t have to choose between my three passions. Music is still primary, but I can incorporate writing and visuals to tell stories through songs. I want to play with a band eventually. I think a duo might be good initially, then expanding as time goes on. Just need to find cool, committed musicians.
Something else that exciting was that I reframed my reasons why I create. I’m getting better at articulating this.
The music has its own agenda. I’m just grateful to be there to write it down. It will not be subordinated to any unworthy motives. When I’m ready to give up these things, that’s when the music pours out.
To a certain extent I don’t feel entirely responsible for what comes out. I feel it already exists someplace else. I just have the privilege of sharing it with the world.
And in performing, I contribute to an experience I share with the audience. It brings me joy and brings joy to others. This experience is definitely something larger than me.
That’s why I play, create, and perform.
I decided to take a friend’s advice, do a bit of walking and praying (i.e. consulting intuition). I realized I had to give up attachments to torturing myself for not working enough and what I think is supposed to happen and focus on loving the music.
It’s a very humbling and spiritual thing, I think.
So even though I was afraid, I sat down and worked on music today. Some amazing things came out, and some not so great things came out. Regardless, I played with my whole heart and loved it.
I’ll just have to focus on this.
Posted in behind the scenes | Tagged random thoughts, reasons why, self-discovery, self-doubt, trials | Leave a Comment »
random thoughts
<>:://I realized that I really think of myself as a composer along the lines of Mozart, Prokofiev, Whitacre or Stravinsky. The fact that I play guitar is of no matter. I try to make each composition have the same varieties and timbres as can be found in a full symphony orchestra.
I think my music also has a symphonic quality. People don’t remember just a melody or just one part of a composer’s work. They also remember him or her and the great variety of works s/he composed.
Mozart didn’t compose classical music, he composed Mozart. Prokofiev didn’t play neo-classical music, he played Prokofiev.
I guess all good song writers/composers do that.
Beyond the catchiness of a certain motif there was an essence that whispered: “Behold! I am myself. Therefore I went into the unknown, found and brought back the unutterable sound that is me. Hear it in this work.”//::END::….
***
I’ve been trying to come up with a way to describe my music in a quick way to people who might listen to it. I am likely going to make up a word, but I don’t want it to mean anything in particular. It needs to have room to expand to encompass whatever new frontiers I want to tackle.
HELP ME OUT IF YOU CAN:://LET ME KNOW HOW YOU WOULD DESCRIBE MY MUSIC TO SOMEONE.
Posted in behind the scenes | Tagged music descriptions, random thoughts | Leave a Comment »
One of my favourite guitarists, Don Ross, posted this video. I think the guy is using a loop pedal, but it still shows good guitar work and composition.
Posted in music I'm listening to | Tagged downtempo, fingerstyle, found sounds, loop pedal | Leave a Comment »
I played the Nasty Noise Battle of the Bands the other night. My goal was to play the most unique stuff there, and I think I did that. I got some good feedback from people, and it was awesome.
People were asking for merch and CDs, but I didn’t have any. I guess I’ll have to be more organized about that at shows in the future.
I think I really experienced the music scene in a new way that night. First of all, it felt good to be out and about doing what I love and to get a little recognition for that.
Secondly, I really experienced the camaraderie of the music scene in a new way. There was so many great musicians and cool people. Everyone just seemed to be having a good time and cutting lose (in a good way). People played in a lot of different genres and the audience listened.
I had never experienced head banging as a cross-cultural and cross-generational thing, so that was cool as well. Older women, young kids and people in between were right in the mix. Music really is the universal language.
It was also cool to meet so many younger people who were such great musicians. I definitely feel inspired to keep up the work.
This brings a couple of fears to the forefront, which is good. They are fears of not being able to produce any new music in the same avant-garde vein and not being able to keep up the momentum. I think both of these things are possible (as my experience shows), but I need to take action to prove it to myself.
“Doubt is only overcome through action.” – Johann von Goethe
Posted in show details | Tagged battle of the bands, nasty noise sounds, random thoughts, show review | Leave a Comment »
In order to focus more on this work, I’m taking a break from posting too many regular updates. This seems to take some energy away from the creative process. Have faith!
Posted in behind the scenes, project info | Tagged false sense of accomplishment, random thoughts | Leave a Comment »
Sorry I’ve been away from the blog for a little while. It seems like I’ve entered a strange situation…
passion, work, sleep: Choose two!
I am working with a drummer currently, and he seems pretty cool. We’re going to be working some things out as far whether we might commit to working on the project. He’s very talented and seems interested in working with the music.
Other than working on the music and watching campy comedy shows from the mid-90s (i.e. Xena: Warrior Princess), I am also trying to find potential illustrators.
Stay tuned. I’ll try to have some new goodies up soon.
I’m not giving everything away, tho.
Posted in behind the scenes | Tagged random thoughts, Xena | Leave a Comment »
I am looking for open-minded people willing to play avant-garde, somewhat technical and melodic stuff for this conceptual performance project, hitherto referred to as The Alchemycal Wedding.
Please contact me if you play bass, piano/keyboards, drums, or multiple instruments. Not being afraid of frequent key changes and odd time signatures is a plus. Other things with strings are good as well.
CONTACT : ENDER @ (505) 409-2700 or grey.swan.music (AT) gmail.com
My influences include Ella Fitzgerald, Hanne Hukkelberg, Bjork, Radiohead, Sergei Prokofiev, Igor Stravinsky, The Beatles, Mogwai, Cinemechanica, Michael Hedges, Dog Ross, Coheed and Cambria, Sigur Ros, Tori Amos, The Books, Kelli Rudick, Portishead, Tin Hat, John Adams, Obi Best, and Sun Ra.
Posted in Alchemycal Wedding, collaborative stuff | Tagged collaborations, goals, influences | Leave a Comment »
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